Foolish suffer of my own

My life is a whirlwind. Sometimes what I feel is not definable. It is a mix of things that turn out to be a new thing. But then appears Miss F. She has iced-blue eyes and a patronizing aura around her. One of the only things capable of knocking me out. When I was in love for the very first time everything seemed to shine around me, the world gained new color and then became dry grey with Miss F’s visit. I chose my career and Miss F. was still with me. What about an option? Miss F didn’t let me go for it either. The third one was not about her to decide. It was already written. Teacher it is!
Nowadays I consider myself a happy person. Long time with no visits of Miss F. I decided to always look for the bright side of things. But the worst thing is that some things are one hundred percent dry grey. And once again I was hit. Some punches didn’t let me down anymore. But I still had some weak spots. Bulls-eye. I died and then reborn. But still there were ashes on my phoenix’s wings.

No matter if the world supports me. Sometimes all I can see is F’s glance aiming me. She is on the corner smiling at me and some situations assume a procrastinating good-look, just a cover to Miss F’s surprise visit. This situations in particular don’t throw me to the bottom of the well. They make me get to the bottom and dig a hole. Under the shadow my amplified disgrace I stay, under Miss F’s glance of course. But it wouldn’t matter. This unpleasant company stayed away for a long time. But still I am knocked out when she decides to appear. I still bleed to death when she comes. She showed up today.

PS: I am sorry about possible mistakes but I am not in the mood to read again. Feelings to paper it is.